stop playing small
As I was answering the question I caught myself - I think I'm being humble but I'm really doing a HUGE disservice to the magic.
I was in this amazing CE class + someone asked me, “So how's Bolstered going?”
That inner voice is like
Don't you DARE be boastful!
Don't look arrogant!
It's ok to say it's good but you know, not tooooooo good or they'll think you're exaggerating.
You've probably done this when someone asks you how business is going. We work SO hard, create SO much value, and then the second someone asks how things are going, we practically whisper the answer. WHY?!
We worry someone will judge us. We worry success will make us less relatable. But all it really does is rob us of the joy we’ve earned.
Did you catch that? IT ROBS US OF THE JOY WE’VE EARNED.
So, I’ve decided I’m going to try telling the truth about my successes without cushioning it. And I'm inviting you to do the same. Here are (3) pragmatic tips to getting out of your own way. Let's do them together!
1 Practice naming your wins privately, so it feels natural publicly
Once a week (month?), literally say: “Here’s what’s going well + what I’m proud of.” Just think it to yourself, keep a journal…whatever works. You'll build the muscle of naming your wins long before someone puts you on the spot.
2 Set a “no self-shrinking” rule
Catching yourself is half the battle. When you notice you’re downplaying, replace the minimizing phrase “Oh, it’s fine…” with a neutral, factual one like, “It’s going really well. I’m excited about this new tool I jsut bought." You don’t have to brag, you just have to stop lying by making it smaller.
3 Seek out people who normalize success in a way that feels good
Hang around (in person or virtually) with people who say things like “That’s amazing, tell me more,” not “Must be nice.” or invite in that down-playing mentality. When success is celebrated, it becomes easier to own your accomplishments without the guilt or shrinking.
Which of these feels easiest? Which of these has you thinking, “uhhhhh. Pass” ?
I’ll be honest the first one kinda gets me. Listing out what’s going right WEEKLY!? That feels soooooo arrogant. But whyyyyyy? Just like you, I’m working HARD. The success I have isn’t some fluke - it’s the outcome from lots of planning, practicing + getting things done when I’d rather nap. Why do we put in so much effort just to shrink when it comes time to celebrate?
Here’s to more recognition, even if it’s just scribbled in a journal no one will see.
Here’s to beginning to see our accomplishments as VERY big deals.
Here’s to more well deserved confetti parades.
